I woke up today to discover a good friend from school that has been battling cancer for the past 3 years might not make it through tonight.
Hali didn’t understand, emotions aren’t her strong point. She let me cry, let me just sit alone as I remembered every good moment.
I sat and questioned God.
This boy is named Kris, he played sports, was funny and one day it all changed.
The only other time someone close to me has died I was 6 or 7. He was a neighbor boy, I threw rocks at him and he was hit by a car on a busy road. My dad tried to save him, I was heartbroken because I didn’t want his last memory to be of me throwing rocks at him.
I didn’t speak. I didn’t go to his funeral.
I just sobbed. In my dad’s arms. And questioned god.
Now today, 17 years later I sob in Hali’s arms. I wish for comfort and an answer as to why. I feel guilty today as I did 17 years ago, I stopped talking to Kris. I couldn’t imagine anything bad happening to such a strong kid. I’m scared his last memories of me are those of abandonment.
This time though things will be different.
I want to speak
I want to attend his funeral
Life is full of changes, good and bad.
It’s still beautiful though, changes are the key to a good life. As scary and sad as they may be.
I haven’t actually updated this in quite sometime, so I thought I would give my followers an update (if there are any of you left.)
My life is wonderful. I know I say that often but really, honestly, truly, I am happy. Hali and I are in pure bliss, and after a year and a half of crazy adventures we are ready to take on whatever comes our way. Including moving to Alaska for the summer to work. It’s so exciting to be headed out on a new adventure and experiencing new things. If any of you are in the Anchorage area let me know, we can all adventure together.
So, what’s new in your life?
lady--ruckus said: Wtf! I've been following you for forever and you've kind of fallen off the map a bit. I know bloggin is like last in line of lifes activities but I love the pics of you and your girl. I want to know how the two of you are doing, what's up, what do you guys eat? Haha jk about the last one. But you should consider your return to the blogosphere :3
I know, I really should. So much has changed with in the last year and a half. I am in a totally different place and I love it. She and I are wonderful. We have an awesome home and we are getting ready to travel to Alaska for the summer to work. I could not be more excited and more thankful for what life has given us.
Anonymous said: How did you meet your gf in a place like Logan? It's hard to find ppl!
She is a girl that I took on a date once, ex. Sooooo kind of not the greatest way to meet. But she is delightful and I am lucky.